Why Men Are
Just Happier People

Your last name stays put.
Phillips



The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.




Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt.




Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress -- $5000. Tux rental -- $150.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.




The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Guy Movies are more fun!

One mood - all the time.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.





If someone forgets to invite you, he or she
can still be your friend.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act
of thoughtfulness.

You know stuff about tanks.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in
public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.






Everything on your face stays its original
color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.






Your belly usually hides your big hips

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color
for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.




You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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