ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
in the windows?

ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.

ABBOT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What have you got?

ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?

ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has
windows! OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my
computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?

ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't
start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can
I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOT: Yes, you want RealOne.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!

ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see
reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch
a movie. What do I do?

ABBOT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOT: The blue 1 is RealOne and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: The word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for
windows!

ABBOT: No, just one. but it's the most popular Word
in the world
COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is RealOne?

ABBOT: RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne
isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track
my money with?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?

ABBOT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOT: Why not, they own it.

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

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